ADAM WITH PAT O’BRIEN, LISA LOEB AND DAVID ALLEN GRIER – February 15, 2006 – 5am to 10am, PST

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6:00 ON BEING GAY

Adam notes that one of the greatest ironies of life is that when you’re a gay guy, you can tell a hot woman to take their pants off and off they come. You can feel them up and look at them naked – there’s no problem.

6:04 HISTORY

History is kind to the people who never give in. They will use phrases like “it wasn’t me” even when it was, but history will remember them as someone who never gave in and holds them in a special regard.

6:07 CHENEY

Cheney’s hunting partner had a heart attack because BBs made their way to his heart. Adam questions why these diabolical BBs would tunnel through the skin and make their way to the heart. Doesn’t your body push foreign objects out?

And Adam thinks about why Cheney didn’t call someone right away after he accidentally shot his friend. But the answer is simple: it’s a humiliating experience and the next month of his life is going to be hell. Everyone would try and cover up the same type of thing. People look for the path of least resistance.

Adam doesn’t blame a guy for lying either – like Clinton lied under oath in the Oval Office.

6:16 HOBOPOWER

Hobopower is a unit of measurement for stink, and a few weeks ago some milestones were created.

100-Hobopower is a hypothetical: no man has ever smelled 100-Hobopower and lived.

50-Hobopower is a cat that was fed exclusively blue cheese and that deficates on a white hot grill.

You can’t factor in the visual and/or emotional component of the stench of something when determining hobopower.

6:34 MORE FUN WITH HOBOPOWER

Adam discusses more hypothetical hobopower stench ratings with callers.

6:50 PAT O’BRIEN CALLS INTO THE STUDIO

Pat O’Brien from “The Insider” calls in to talk to Adam. Adam tells Pat that he would normally feel bad about having someone call in so early, but since Pat gets up at four in the morning to do his Tai Chi, he doesn’t feels so bad.

On The Insider this week, one of the main subjects is finding Paula Abdul a man with Doctor Phil.

Adam says he watches the show every night because he’s addicted to these types of shows.

7:15 THE NEWS

The government, stating that the response to the hurricane in New Orleans was a dismal failure, is releasing an official report.

Cheney’s hunting partner will be in the hospital for the next week-and-a-half due to a heart attack caused by pellets left inside of him moving to his heart.

A colored bull terrier was the first bull terrier to win the Westminster Dog Show.

Tom and Katie were reported as breaking up. Publicists deny the story.

7:24 THE SPORTS

Winter Games in Torino.

The US leads with 5 gold medals, but Russia leads with most overall medals.

7:42 LISA LOEB IN STUDIO

Lisa Lobe is in the studio. Her website is http://www.lisaloeb.com/.

Adam says she’s not tall, but he loves her.

Lisa wears a thong because it stops the panty line in the entire overall look. Adam thinks a thong is much more flattering when wearing jeans. Dave says that the problem is that when you have “extra padding” in back, you see the lines of the thong.

Adam asks Lisa if she is still single. She says there are some interesting fellows in contention, but she doesn’t have a ring. She does say that she feels her biological clock ticking and she wants to get married and have a family.

7:57 MORE WITH LISA LOEB

Her television show is “Number One Single” on E! on Sunday nights at 10 o’clock.

Adam notes that it’s sad that for men like George Clooney, there’s always a new young woman in line for them. But for women, they get to live ten years longer.

8:08 MORE WITH LISA LOEB

Lisa lives both in New York and Los Angeles. Her single, “Stay,” is one of Adam’s favorite songs.

Lisa uses Ambien and talks about how hungry it makes her. Right now, she’s craving food so she can get past the post-Ambien munchies.

Adam asks her about what happened with her date where she ate some doughnuts. She was ratted out to the Post in an article saying that her show would soon be over because she already found a boyfriend, even though it was only her second date with him.

When she broke up with Dweezil Zappa, it was a mutual breakup. They both felt that the relationship wasn’t continuing the way they wanted, and they mutually decided to part ways. They were engaged at the time.

Adam explains hobopower to Lisa and asks her if she has a hobopower story. She doesn’t really have a story, but she thinks the scent of brass zippers are pretty nasty. She made it to over thirty years of age and she doesn’t have a good hobopower story.

Her least favorite music is a song by Shania Twain where there’s a description of what it will take a man to get her. Her favorite song is a song that her sister wrote. It’s a dance song. She also loves the Hall and Oats son “Rich Girl.”

8:37 DAVID ALLEN GRIER IN STUDIO

David Allen Grier joins Lisa Loeb and Adam in the studio. Lisa stayed after the last break at David’s request. He asks her if she goes for the chocolate. She says she’d go with anyone who is nice and kind.

She says her mother wouldn’t kill herself if she went out with David. As long as the guy is nice, kind, and clever, it would be fine. It all depends on what their personality is.

David tells Lisa to get rid of the glasses and go with contacts. Cut her hair and dye it a different color. He thinks it’s time for her to move on. She says she’s changing internal things, not the superficial things.

David was in New York for fashion week last week. David claims that his girlfriend dragged him there.

Lisa asks for someone to take her to a strip club, because she’s never been to one. She has been to a Christina Aguilera show once.

8:51 MORE WITH DAVID ALLEN GRIER

David is going to be at the Ontario Imporv Thursday the 16th through Sunday the 19th.

David comments on Lisa Loeb, mentioning that he thinks she would be too high maintenance for him and she is like 100 years old.

Adam and David talk about the Olympics. Adam asks David if he had heard about what Bryant Gumbel said, regarding there being virtually no black athletes.

David is broken up over Michelle Kwan pulling her groin muscle and pulling herself out of the Olympics. There’s nothing left to pull for in the games now.

9:04 MORE WITH DAVID ALLEN GRIER

Denise, a caller, has a question for DAG. She wants to know why she’s so angry at women this morning. He tells her that he’s not angry. He was only trying to help the poor, lost soul sitting next to her.

9:07 DATING

Adam says that most people will tell you that they don’t care what your race is when it comes to dating. But when you ask them if they’ve ever dated anyone from another culture, more often than not the answer is, “No.”

9:09 HOBOPOWER

Dave tells Adam his hobopower story. It was hot and sticky in the apartment and he opened his apartment door and a scent just killed him. A 300-pound diabetic man died in a nearby apartment and was left there for three days. When the police came, the body was grey and swollen on the bed.

Adam tells his story about when he used to do earthquake rehab for subsidized housing. They had to go into every unit and earthquake proof the place. Everyone was old and nuts and everyone stunk. There was one guy who clipped every missing kid panel from the milk cartons he had drunk over the last 30 years. Another guy would defecate into a five-gallon bucket. He was doing his finish work and some pranksters from his crew hid the bucket behind some wood behind his table saw. They would drop steel bolts into the bucket of waste from a hole in the ceiling, and every time a bolt would hit the target it would splatter and Adam never heard it while his saw was running. He could only smell this ungodly stench.

9:23 MORE WITH DAVID ALLEN GRIER

DAG’s favorite musical artist is a barn burner/party starter: Johnny Guitar Watson.
His number one song is “Shake That Thing.”

David reads a passage from the Star Jones book as Maya Angelou.

Adam asks Rachel that if she had to go home with one guy in the room, based on general attraction, who would she pick? She asks him why he has such low self-esteem. Adam says he doesn’t have low self-esteem because we take it on the chin. Other things come into play.

Rachel makes a list of who she would go home with, bottom to top:

Mike Lynch
Dave Damashek
Jim Brusca
David Allen Grier
Adam Carolla

9:46 MORE WITH DAVID ALLEN GRIER

Adam was reminded that it’s Black History Month. Jerron, the show’s intern, is darker than David, but Adam says that Jerron’s soul is white and he needs some help assimilating into the black culture. David listens to him speak and gives him some pointers, but finally says that he can’t help him at all.

9:51 THE NEWS

Rachel recaps the news.

Lou Ferrigno is now an LA Sheriff’s Department reserve deputy.

9:52 THE SPORTS

Dave recaps the sports.

Clippers, Seattle loose.
Kings win.