ADAM WITH FRANK VINCENT, PAUL RODRIGUEZ, ANNABELLE GURWITCH AND JONATHAN GROFF — 5am to 10am, May 1st, 2006
Dial 866-901-ADAM(2326) to call into the Adam Carolla Show!
6:00 OSWALDO IN THE STUDIO
Ozzie is in the studio with us this morning. The big topic, of course, is A Day Without An Immigrant, so they’ll be talking about that later.
6:02 RACHEL PERRY
It’s never been explained what happened to Rachel Perry, Adam says. She chose to go to a pilot for Fox and had to leave for a few weeks, and since she didn’t work out as a news girl, they decided to just let her go when she took the time off. They brought in Claudia and Teresa after that, and haven’t decided on which to use yet. Adam says it’s because Claudia looks like a Teresa, and Teresa looks like a Claudia.
Dave feels like this whole name thing is a good point, because Adam doesn’t look like an Adam. Adam disagrees. He feels like that name is a “crescent wrench” — adjustable. Other names, like Cody, or Seth, are box-end wrenches. They’re inflexible. They only fit one thing.
6:08 IMMIGRATION
Ron from Phoenix calls in about the illegal immigration thing. He feels like if these illegals want to become citizens, we should let them join the military and serve our country for a few years, and then grant them citizenship that way. Adam says the problem is, we can’t put foreign nationals into the military.
6:10 WHO’S THE REAL IDIOT, JOHN?
Another listener, John, calls in — crescent wrenches are not adjustable, they are a specific shape. They get into a big, hostile debate about it. Adam says that Crescent is a brand name, and a brand name for an adjustable wrench, at that. John thinks that Adam’s an idiot. It’s finally settled by Dave getting on wikipedia.org and finding that Crescent is indeed a brand name.
A few listeners call in supporting Adam’s argument.
6:33 STEALTH FANS
The bumper music coming back from break was Neil Diamond, and Adam points out that he doesn’t hate that song, but he can’t declare himself a Neil Diamond fan. It’s a strange phenomenon, he thinks. Sometimes, people are fans of music. They’ll go to see it live, but they won’t dress up. They won’t seek it out on TV or radio, but they won’t switch it off when they see or hear it. Dickie Barrett said that Tori Amos fans are the same way.
6:36 CRESCENT WRENCH DEALER
A listener calls in — he’s a Crescent wrench dealer. Adam is correct.
6:38 OZZIE’S NATIONAL ANTHEM
Ozzie sings the National Anthem. Roseanne did a better job of it, Adam says.
6:52 DEAF FRAT GUY IN THE STUDIO
Deaf Frat Guy, aka Maverick, is on the program. He’s looking to catch on at the station, so he’s going to be reading the news today.
6:53 THE A-HOLE PYRAMID
A listener calls in to say that Ozzie’s anthem was hilarious. Adam asks what he does, and the callers says “Exterminator.” What a glamorous job that is, Adam says. But if you’re going to have a crappy job, better to be on the road than in an office. Once, Adam worked at a travel agency with nothing but a bunch of old, bitter women, who had no lives outside of work. Their job became to make his life a living hell.
7:07 FRANK VINCENT ON THE PHONE
Frank Vincent, Phil Leotardo of The Sopranos, is on the line to talk about yesterday’s episode of the show.
7:14 DEAF FRAT NEWS GUY
Today, May 1st, is being called A Day Without Immigrants. Nationwide protests of U.S. immigration policy are planned.
British tabloids are reporting that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting married July 1st.
Keith Richards was apparently injured after he fell out of a palm tree.
Mexico is about to unveil a sweeping change to their drug policy, which will allow people to carry small amounts of drugs on them legally.
7:22 SPORTS
Lakers won against Phoenix at the Staples Center yesterday.
The Clippers beat Memphis.
We’re closing in on a Lakers versus Clippers battle for Los Angeles.
Dodgers lost to the Padres at Petco Park.
Halos got swept by the White Sox.
7:40 PAUL RODRIGEUZ IN THE STUDIO
Comedian Paul Rodriguez is on the program today. Adam says they would’ve had him on anyway, but why not have him on for the Day Without An Immigrant? Paul says he’s going to get in trouble with his people now, for working on May 1st. Adam says that Mexicans don’t consider this work — he’s not sweaty at all.
It’s unclear to Adam what the goal of the march today. He asks Paul what the reasoning is behind today’s march. Paul says he’s not sure, but he’s pretty sure that they want bus passes.
A listener calls in and yells at Paul for supporting illegal immigration. Paul says that he doesn’t support that at all. Just because his last name is Rodriguez, doesn’t mean he supports illegals. But he thinks the proposal of building a wall is a little absurd. So, you want to build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. Who’s going to build it?
We’re not the only one who has this problem, Paul points out. If you go to Japan, they are predominantly Japanese, but they have Koreans, too. The Koreans are their Mexicans. If you go to Mexico, they have Guatemalans. Switzerland has Italians.
When Paul was traveling in France, he realized they hate Americans. So, he became Canadian. Paul’s problem, though, is this: he doesn’t want to speak out too loudly on this issue, because he doesn’t want his own people to take him to task about it. Adam understands; Paul doesn’t want to be some kind of “Uncle Tom-bien.”
Nick calls in from Vegas. He works construction in Vegas, and his company had to shut down for a day because all these immigrants decided they didn’t want to go to work today. Paul says that is the crux of the matter. If you kicked out every immigrant, there would be massive underemployment in many industries.
They’ve done polls on legal immigrants in Los Angeles, Adam says, and most all of them want the law upheld. Many immigrants actually do go through the motions and become legal citizens, and they feel everybody should have to do that in order to earn the privledge of living in this country.
A few listeners call in to tell Adam that his “Uncle Tom-bien” quote was hilarious.
8:38 OSWALDO REVIEWS A MOVIE
Oswaldo is on the program, to review “Stick It”.
8:57 THE ED’S DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES UPDATE
The Ed calls in from Vegas. Adam explains that he’s got to come up with some names for his new twins. Ed points out that he’s already suggested Edward, but Adam didn’t seem tuned into that. He suggests Nickel for the girl, and Speed for the boy. Adam’s not black, so Ed says he’s probably not that fast. But Speed Carolla is pretty good, although it will be ironic when he’s the slowest one in his class.
Ed gives his review of Desperate Housewives. They brought the black people back this week, but they’re moving. They don’t want to live in a house with murderers. Then Gabriella put the baby in one of those buckets with the wheels on it and started walking it around the neighborhood. They had a high school boy come up and say “That’s a nice baby, I’d like to have it.” He’s claiming he’s the baby’s father. Then the red-head lady, her and her friend had a friend who stopped drinking, but they went to a sex party. There were naked people everywhere, but they didn’t show it. Lois’s husband broke up with his girlfriend.
9:11 DEAF FRAT NEWS GUY RECAP
Maverick recaps the news.
9:19 SPORTS RECAP
Dave recaps the sports news.
9:36 ANNABELLE GURWITCH AND JONATHAN GROFF IN THE STUDIO
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jonathan Groff, from the play “Fired Again!”, are on the program. Annabelle has compiled this play to retell the stories of all the bizarre ways that people in show business have been fired. Some people have been fired by a fax to their agent, or through a voicemail, or a multitude of other ways. Sometimes you deserve to get fired though, Jonathan says. A lot of people will declare “I was fired because the management had it in for me”, or because of some conspiracy, etc. Well, others will say that they were fired because they suck. And it’s very liberating to say you suck, Annabelle says. It leaves you free to improve yourself, and discover what you can “fix.”
Fired Again! will be at the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles from May 3rd through May 7th.
