ADAM WITH STEVER WERNER, JAY THOMAS — 5am to 10am PST, May 8, 2006
Dial 866-901-ADAM(2326) to call into the Adam Carolla Show!
6:00 TERESA STRASSER IN THE STUDIO
Teresa is in studio doing the news — today, and from now on. Adam says it was a toss-up between Teresa and Claudia, they put it out to the people, and everyone overwhelmingly picked Teresa.
The way Adam works, he points out, is simple — he smiles and nods and gets along with everyone at work, but he isn’t really there to make friends. The longer he’s talking to you, the longer he’s thinking about work, and if he’s thinking about work, his hourly rate goes down.
Teresa understands.
6:05 CINCO DE MAYO
Dave says Teresa showed up just a little too late, because she missed the huge Cinco de Mayo party on Friday. Of course, the booze flowed freely, and, once again, Angie had a little incident.
Apparently, Angie had enough, that she found Brusca attractive.
6:25 DAG’S HOUSE
Adam went to David Allen Grier’s house over the weekend. It’s a pretty spacious place up in the Hills, overlooking the San Fernando Valley. It’s full of all kinds of cool stuff — pool, wine room, humador — the kind of stuff you can’t have if you’re married. He lives up there just by himself, with his two dogs. He’s got cool motorcycles, too — just the whole works. When he was leaving, he thought, wow, how cool is that?
Of course, if it were a 47-year-old woman that had the same situation, Adam would think: “How sad.” Dave laughs — what’s Adam saying, his life wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the wife and kids.
6:30 DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES UPDATE
The Ed from Las Vegas comes on the line to do the Desperate Housewives update.
6:46 STEVE WERNER IN THE STUDIO
Steve Werner is on the program. He had a brain tumor the size of a ping-pong ball, and his dog actually was able to sniff it out and alert him, so they could remove it before it could really affect him.
Apparently, his dog had been smelling his ear constantly, for weeks on end. He was feeling the affects of the tumor already, with a ringing in the same ear. He saw a special on TV about dogs being able to sniff out cancer, and finally it clicked.
Everything’s got it’s own scent, Adam says. You can train these dogs to sniff out anything, and it doesn’t really matter what kind of dog it is. To wit, they should switch to gynecologist dogs. How many women just don’t want to deal with the gynecologist visit? Meanwhile, they’ve got an infection eating away at their fallopian tubes.
(Here Steve’s entire interview on Adam’s Free FM site.)
6:53 LEGALIZE IT!
A listener calls in. He wonders why this isn’t getting any attention: Mexico is thiiiiis close to legalizing most drugs for personal use. The United States is putting tremendous pressure on the Mexican government to not do this.
This has nothing to do with dogs or tumors, Adam says. Furthermore, who cares about Mexico? It’s a lawless country. People are already going there to get steroids and hookers all the time. Anything is legal there if you’ve got $100 in your pocket. It’s just a big, lawless dump with a horribly corrupt government, and the people are fleeing their horribly corrupt government and coming here. Other than that, the division between San Diego and Mexico is just a line in the damn sand.
7:06 OZZIE LOVES TERESA
Oswaldo is in the studio on Teresa’s first day as full-time news girl, to tell her he’s a big fan, and he loves her news. You can’t change the news, but you can make it better, Adam says.
The other night, Oswaldo says he had a nightmare where Jaron touched his butt. Ozzie asked, what are you doing? But he didn’t say anything. All he knows, Adam says, is that Ozzie has the hots for Jaron.
Additionally, why is it that Ozzie can say Jaron, but not Adam?
7:10 THE FIGHT
A listener calls in and asks what Adam thought of the Oscar de la Hoya fight over the weekend. It was a great fight, Adam says. He watched it over the weekend with David Allen Grier.
One thing that’s funny about Oscar de la Hoya, Adam says, is that he is always very quiet and humble before the fight. His opponents will be out there screaming bloody murder, with tattoos all over their body and talking so much trash. Meanwhile, Oscar is just saying “Well, this weekend we’ll see who’s the better fighter.” So quiet, so polite. And then, they get out there, and Oscar just takes them to school. And it’s because he’s the better fighter. It’s a sport, and Oscar has been doing it since he was 8 years old. And people tend to forget that.
7:15 NEWS
President Bush, in an interview yesterday, stated that his worst moment in office was, of course, 9/11. But his best was strange: he mentioned a large fish he caught.
Nicole Richie has finally admitted publically that she is too thin. Adam says he could swap Nicole Richie with a mop handle and nobody would notice.
Good news for virgins! A brothel in Berlin is now offering a discount for first-timers. Prostitutes at the brothel are given sensitivity training, as many of the first timers are 40 years of age or older.
7:26 SPORTS
The Suns brought shame to Kobe and the Lakers.
Mighty Ducks are now up 2-0 in the NHL playoffs.
7:44 JAY THOMAS IN THE STUDIO
Jay Thomas, actor and comedian, is on the program. He was in the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus and as well as the TV show Mork & Mindy, and he was also on the radio in Los Angeles at Power 106 for a number of years.
Jay’s also got his own show on Sirius Satellite Radio. He says they need to watch what they talk about, because of the scandals involved.
He couldn’t believe that Adam was actually spending his own money on The Adam Carolla Project. On shows like Win Ben Stein’s Money, it’s just a gimmick — Ben’s bank account isn’t actually getting debited when he loses. But on this show, Adam was really spending his own cash. That’s just the stupidest thing he’s ever heard, Jay says. Yeah, Adam agrees, and plus, he hired his own J-O crew to do the project, and they spent a lot of time swimming in the neighbor’s pool.
Dave sounds a lot like Adam, Jay thinks. It’s like he’s got a little miniature Adam. Which is good, though — if he’s ever sick, he’s got a fill-in that sounds like him. On Jay’s Sirius show, his fill-in sounds nothing like him.
8:26 THE HOTTIE
A listener calls in — she’s a hottie in Los Angeles, and she’s 25 years old. And on top of that, she’s single. Adam tells her to come on down to the station and let him see her. She doesn’t want to, though. She’s at work at a real estate agency. Well no problem, they’ll give the agency a plug if she comes down. She still says she can’t do it, though. They go back and forth, with Adam trying to convince her, before he finally gets frustrated and tells her to just hang up.
“This is why we hate hot chicks,” he says.
8:31 OZZIE’S REVIEW
Oswaldo is on the program, reviewing Mission: Impossible 3.
8:44 FRANK VINCENT ON THE PHONE
Frank Vincent, a.k.a. Phil Leotardo from The Sopranos, is on the program to talk about last night’s episode.
9:04 WOULD YOU RATHER…?
Dave poses a hypothetical question to Adam: would you rather make out for five minutes with your sister, or with Jimmy Kimmel? Adam brings up that they did this with Mike Dawson, the new technical producer. Dave kept asking him, and Mike kept replying “I don’t have a sister.” It’s a hypothetical question! HYPOTHETICAL!
They go around the room seeing everyone’s answers.
9:21 NEWS RECAP
Teresa recaps the news.
9:26 SPORTS RECAP
Dave recaps the sports news.
9:40 PEREZ HILTON IN THE STUDIO
Perez Hilton is on the program. His Hollywood gossip website gets over 600,000 hits per day. “Jesus”, exclaims Dave. He’s going to dish some dirt for us.
On Saturday, he wrote how allegedly, Scientologists were going to the Arclight Cinema on Sunset and buying tickets to Mission: Impossible 3 en masse. How do they do that, Adam wonders? They go to the ticket window. He knows that. But are they dressing differently? Or what?
Perez loves it when he reports something on his site, and then he hears “real” media report on that. It gives him an aire of legitimacy. Are there any celebrities that read the site? Steve-O does, for sure.
9:53 PEREZ HILTON, DISHIN THE DIRT
Tori Spelling got married on Sunday on a private island in Fiji, and she did, in fact, wear white.
Adam Sandler and his wife welcomed a new baby girl to the world. They don’t have a name yet, but the kid’s doin good.
Britney Spears has recently hired a babysitter, because Kevin Federline can’t watch their kid. She’s also cut his allowance.
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise just came to terms on a pre-nuptial agreement.
