ADAM WITH CHRISTIAN THE 13-YEAR-OLD COMEDIAN, BOBBY LEE, RICHARD MARTIN AND THE FINALE OF THE ADAM CAROLLA TRIVIA CHALLENGE – 5am to 10am PST, May 26, 2006

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6:06 HAPPY BIRTHDAY

It’s Adam’s birthday, and he was hoping to slip it under the radar, but Dave and Teresa bring it up. It’s not actually today, it’s tomorrow. The thing about Adam’s birthday, though, is that it was piggy-backed onto his sibling’s birthdays also. On top of that, his parents were cheap, and he wanted stuff. Not little cheap things — real stuff. So instead of gifts, he’d go around and collect money. $20 from Mom, $20 from Dad, $10 from this relative, $10 from that, etc. “YOU’RE GETTING MONEY?!?”, Dave exclaims. Yes! That’s ridiculous. Birthdays were just never a huge deal in Carolla’s family.

When people died in his family, they didn’t have funerals, either. Teresa asks if it’s that same triangle of cheapness, poorness, and lack of care. Yes, it is, Adam says, and that’s the kind of thing where now that he’s an adult, he still doesn’t know how to react on birthdays and the like.

6:18 CHRISTIAN THE 13-YEAR-OLD COMEDIAN

Christian calls in from Fresno. He wishes Adam a happy birthday, then cracks out a joke for the crew.

6:30 A LITTLE GHETTO

Lindsey was up at the station very early hanging up some decorations. If they were in a porn movie, and it was someone’s birthday in the movie, they would decorate it better than they’ve decorated this studio. “It’s early,” Teresa says.

It’s time for a surprise caller — Adam immediately recognizes it as Beth Ringwald, sister of Molly Ringwald, and Adam’s childhood sweetheart. They used to live right up the street from each other, and he used to do things like put her on his back and run up and down the bleachers. “That’s sweet,” Teresa thinks. Beth has actually recently remarried her high school sweetheart, after being apart for over twenty years.

So, it sounds like Beth was Adam’s “first”. Teresa wants to know — how was he? Ehh… she was drunk, she doesn’t really remember. She actually is curious about what Adam thought? Well, let’s not talk about it. It’s probably not legal in the State of California.

Dave’s got an idea, though. How about Adam and Beth come together again, after all this time, so she can judge and see how much better he’s gotten at things? She’s not sure Ken and Lynette would appreciate that.

6:54 BOBBY LEE IN THE STUDIO

Bobby Lee from MadTV is on the program. There’s like nine people who are watching MadTV, Bobby says. Adam doesn’t even want to hear it, though. When he was on Loveline, they had all the MadTV guests, and year after year, everyone would lean over and say “This is it, this is our last season, we’re getting pulled off the air.” But it’s never happened, so Adam just ignores it. Seriously though, Bobby isn’t sure how or why MadTV is still on. It’s not even like working on a show. He’s pretty sure there’s a homeless guy sleeping outside his dressing room.

7:15 NEWS

Teresa goes over the day’s news.

7:25 SPORTS

Dave covers the sports, and then talks to a special guest: The kid who caught the home run ball that tied Barry Bonds for the home run record with Babe Ruth. They give him a bit of grief for having a $50,000 offer, and then turning it down. He says he’s holding out for close to a million dollars. Adam wonders, is this the kind of thing that goes up and down in value? Do they have appraisers for it? Yes, Teresa confirms. Adam remembers that Teresa’s boyfriend is a sports memorabilia appraiser.

What happens when Bonds breaks another record? Like, say, Hank Aaron’s record? Will this ball go down in value? It will, Teresa says, so when you get a respectable offer, you should sell it. Adam has a different plan. Spread a little money around at the airfield, and have then sabotage the team’s plane. That way, you not only get his record breaking ball, but the last one he ever hit.

7:41 JIMMY KIMMEL ON THE HORN

A special guest, Jimmy Kimmel, calls in to wish Adam a happy birthday. An important question, though: who gives the best birthday gift? Well, Adam is good, Jimmy says, but ultimately, Jimmy puts more thought into his gifts. Adam usually will just take him to Best Buy and say, pick yourself something out. Never has he felt so much like a kid.

8:02 THE RIFT

Apparently, Dave Dameshek and Teresa Strasser have issues. Teresa demands that Brusca explain the situation. He says things got “a little rough” during the commercial break. No, no, Teresa says. You explain the situation better. Fine — Dave screamed at Teresa to “F off.” He actually waited for Adam to get up and leave the room, and then proceeded to launch into what can be described as a “maniacal tirade.”

Yesterday, Dave wrote a one page long email to Teresa explaining all of these problems that he has with her. This morning, he told Brusca he thinks Teresa is doing a fantastic job, but Brusca feels like it was just because he felt bad. In addition, Brusca admits that he’s been stirring the pot a little bit, by telling Dave a thing or two that Teresa had said about him behind his back. She swears that it was just a joke, though, and Brusca tends to agree. Dave defends himself; he was and remains a huge supporter of Teresa, and campaigned heavily to get her hired. She knows that, and thanks him for it. It’s just, never in her life, on any of her jobs as both host and comedy writer, has she had someone wait for someone else to leave the room before screaming at her.

Adam feels like he needs to address this. Dave, honestly, has no malice in his heart. He feels like he can be unbridled, and demonstrative, and rude, and just say whatever he wants, because he knows that he doesn’t mean any of it. But what he needs to realize is, sometimes you work with someone who is going to take this kind of thing more seriously. Maybe they’ve got a history of people yelling at them, or maybe they are just more sensitive to that type of thing, or whatever. But you have to take it into consideration.

It seems too soon to hug, but Dave would like to shake Teresa’s hand. She asks him if maybe he could go “F” himself. Ultimately, Adam just wants to stress that he feels like Dave does not mean any of this, and honestly, doesn’t have any malice towards Teresa.

8:22 THE REPRIMAND

Mo’ Dameshek, Dave’s mom, calls in and chastises him. This was not the way he was raised. Dave isn’t a bad boy, it’s just that, sometimes he does bad things. Adam feels that Dave is definitely an extrovert, and he doesn’t choose his words very carefully. So, it can be hard to step into his world.

8:37 TOILET TIME-OUT

Before we get to the Adam Carolla Show Trivia Challenge, we need to finish up a little business with this Dave Dameshek mess. It’s time to put Dave in a toilet time-out. “WHAT! NO!” Dave strongly protests; the message board has already declared him a jerk for this incident, what more does Adam want? Well, he can work on the Jerk Report from his tiled office.

Big Tad escorts him out to the bathroom, and he passes “Shotgun” Tom Kelly, who is on his way in to preside over the trivia contest.

8:40 “SHOTGUN” TOM

Shotgun enters the studio. He’s going to be emceeing the trivia challenge again this week, where hopefully, they’ll be giving away $3,000.

They begin the semi-finals.

8:58 RAY

Dave’s in the bathroom, and unfortunately, there’s no microphone in there — this is an impromptu thing. So, they’ve got Big Tad on a cell phone in there, which works very spottily in the station. Big Tad tells Adam that he’ll never guess who just walked in — Adam’s buddy Ray, the man who once defecated in Jimmy Kimmel’s desk.

9:00 THE TRIVIA CONTEST ROLLS ON

And the trivia contest, week three, continues. Mo’ Dameshek faces off against Listener Ken for $3,000.

Mo’ Dameshek seems to once again sweep the competition, but Brusca has a heart — he wants to give Ken another question. If Ken can get it right, he’ll take home the $3,000. They toss him a tough one — what is Dave’s wifes name? Mo’ asks if she can give a hint, and they say that’s okay.

Mo’s hint?

“Cindi.”

Teresa points out Dave’s problem — look at the hints his mother gives! They serve up yet another question, and Ken nails it. He’ll take home the $3,000! $1,000 for today, plus $2,000 from the two previous competitions that had no winner.

9:16 NEWS RECAP

A breaking story: Dave’s an a-hole.

Teresa recaps the news.

9:33 RICHARD MARTIN

Republican Richard Martin has joined the program to talk with Adam and the crew about this new wave of anti-Bush songs and rhetoric. Richard points out that he does a little rapping, too — he does a pro-American rap, to try and counter all the vitriol being spewed.

Be sure to visit AskARepublican.com for more information and to see Richard’s video podcast.

9:49 OLD BUDDIES

Adam’s buddy Ray, and Don, his first roommate, are both in the studio today. They’ve come to wish Adam a happy birthday, and they’ve brought a tape of Adam’s first attempt ever at radio comedy — a fake religious rock radio station, including a fake commercial for HE-BREW, religious beer.

Ozzie comes in to sing Happy Birthday to Adam as the show closes.