ADAM WITH MIKE BIRBIGLIA, HENRY BOYD, THE DRUNK TREE MASCOT, CHUCK LIDDELL AND MARK THE POET – 5am to 10am PST, August 22, 2006

Dial 866-901-ADAM(2326) to call into The Adam Carolla Show!

6:00 ULTIMATE DISAPPOINTMENT

There’s an Ultimate Fighter coming in today, and Teresa has to know: what is ultimate fighting? Does ANYTHING go? Pretty much, Adam says. There’s no gouging, which means that if a storm blows through, you can’t overcharge for generators. It’s always a disappointment when you hear that anything goes though, Dave thinks, because it’s never as awesome as it sounds. It’s like the BattleBots, he says. You hear that there’s going to be robots fighting, and you think “WOW! THAT’S AWESOME!” But it’s just robots running into each other on the ground.

6:05 NEVER CHANGE, BABY

Last night, Adam was watching Entertainment Tonight, and they showed an old picture of the man who’s accused in the JonBenet Ramsey case. And of course, he was wearing a really old hairstyle. This is something he just assumes they have for everybody, Adam says. He’s pretty sure that somewhere, someone has a picture of him wearing a mullet, even though he’s never worn one. He’s going to tell his kids right up front, and this advice goes for everyone else, too — don’t change your hairstyle. If you do, someone will be able to produce photos of you with the old one, and you’ll look stupid.

6:10 A DRYWALL QUESTION

A listener calls up with a question for Adam about drywall.

6:13 BOOST TERESA’S EGO

Listeners call up in massive support of Teresa, after the assault launched by Brusca and Co. on a recent show.

6:25 MIKE BURBIGLIA

Mike Burbiglia, comedian, joins Adam in the studio. His new CD, Two Drink Mike, is in stores now. Mike’s got some medical conditions, Adam says, and he’d love to get into. The first of which is sleepwalking, which is interesting, Adam feels. A while back, he was in bed, and he dreamt that he was in the Olympics, and he had won third place. So he was standing on the podium, and they told him, you won first place instead. So he moved over to the first place podium, but it was wobbly. So of course, he woke up, and realized he was standing on top of the living room bookcase, and he was falling. He fell off of the bookcase onto the TiVO.

This is so bizarre, Adam has a hard time believing it, he says, but it’s the incredible specifics that make him know that it’s true. He’s been diagnosed with a dopamine deficiency, which is the chemical that paralyzes you during sleep.

Mike tells a story of how he was almost attacked by a bear during a fly fishing trip. Of course, like always, running is the worst thing to do in these scenarios, Adam says. And that’s the instictive thing to do. Why is it that the first thing you think to do, is the absolute worst thing you could possibly do? If you just clap, or go “YAH! YAH!”, the bear will walk away. But if you run, it’ll chase you.

7:10 OZZIE’S ROLLING STONE GIVEAWAY

It’s time to play Oswaldo’s Rolling Stones Giveaway, where Ozzie will sing a part of a Rolling Stones song, and a listener must guess the name. If they can answer correctly, they will win tickets to see The Rolling Stones.

7:16 NEWS

Teresa covers the morning news.

7:29 SPORTS

Dave quickly covers the sports.

7:41 THE JONBENET D.A.

Bob, one of the original prosecuting attornies from the JonBenet Ramsey case, calls in from Boulder, Colorado to weigh in on this whole Carr matter. This guy was in Thailand, going from teaching job to teaching job, presumably only there for the “sex tourism”, and suddenly, he’s confessing to the JonBenet Ramsey murder. It seems to Adam like this guy is just a nutjob who is looking for a little publicity, but he wonders if Bob feels like there’s an actual link. Bob does indeed think that there could be a link.

Regardless of his involvement with this case, Adam definitely wants to see this guy locked up, because he thinks that this guy is just a weirdo and a pedophile.

7:52 HENRY BOYD

Henry Boyd calls up. He’s an old friend of Adam’s, and they played Pop Warner Football together back in the 70s. They talk a bit about their past together.

8:10 THE JERK LIST WITH DAVE DAMESHEK

It’s time for The Jerk List, but unfortunately, Brusca says that there’s no time. Suddenly, there’s a Jerk Alert, for Brusca.

8:12 THE SONG

Throughout the entire show, Adam’s been trying desperately to remember the name of a song. Finally, he’s found it, so he plays a little bit of it. To review, Dave says, the Jerks of the world are running free.

8:13 DRUNK TREE MASCOT

The Drunk Tree Mascot joins the program, and she’s not feeling well. Apparently, she’s PMSing. She’s retaining water as well, Teresa says. They’ll be sponsoring the Adam Carolla Charity Car Wash this week, and apparently, Drunk Tree Mascot will be there. Lisa from Scores calls in, and she’ll be bringing some Scores girls to the car wash too. That upsets the Drunk Tree Mascot a lot.

8:27 CHUCK LIDDELL

Chuck Liddell, the light heavyweight champion of the UFC, is in the studio. This Saturday, his title goes on the line against Renato “Babalu” Sobral. They talk a bit about some of the rules of UFC, and what you can or cannot do.

Chuck is going to punch Adam’s in-studio punching bag, but first tells Adam that Sobral is probably one of the best fighters out there for him. It should be a tough fight, as Sobral has won the last ten straight fights he’s been in.

8:46 MORE WITH CHUCK LIDDELL AND RACHELL LEAH

Chuck scored a 648 on the Hooters punching bag. Sugar Ray Leonard scored a 530. Chuck shattered the standing record: Adam’s score of 565.

Adam says he has a ton of calls for Chuck Liddell.

Chuck is thrilled to learn that board-op Bill fancies Chuck, and says he only comes in second to Tito Ortiz.

Teresa’s curious — is Chuck a jealous guy? Dave has to add that Teresa is single. “Stop trying to pimp me out,” she tells Dave, she just wants to know how it would be. If they’re out in public, and some guy looked at her wrong, would Chuck jump up and start something? Maybe, he says. It might have to be like that.

9:19 MARK THE POET

Mark the Poet comes on the line to read a poem about Teresa’s vagina.

9:20 NEWS AND SPORTS RECAP

Teresa recaps the news, and Dave recaps the sports.

9:26 DAVE’S WEEKLY RANKINGS

It’s time to do the weekly rankings. This week, it’s the best pies.

Number five is banana creme pie. “Decadent,” Adam quips.

Number four, custard. Adam likes it, despite Dave thinking he wouldn’t.

At number three, it’s pumpkin pie.

Coming in at number two, pecan pie. WARM IT UP, Dave shouts. That’s his hint. Maybe toss a scoop of vanilla on there.

And number one… COCONUT CREAM PIE!

9:41 MADE UP MOVIE

It’s time for Made Up Movie — where listeners call up and name a movie title, then Adam will invent a movie around that title.

The first one is A Sub Terrean. This is a movie that Adam’s already come up with, he says.

Next up, is Tropical Fists. Dave says that this is when we learn a new form of fighting. Antonio Banderas stars as someone teaching an exciting new form of fighting at an inner-city school on the big island of Hawaii.