ADAM WITH PEREZ HILTON, WOLFGANG PUCK AND WILLIE NELSON — 5am to 10am PST, September 6, 2006
Dial 866-901-ADAM(2326) to call into The Adam Carolla Show!
6:00 CHASING THE DREAMS
Wolfgang Puck is going to be on the show today, and it makes them pontificate for a bit about people who come to Los Angeles to live their dream, versus people who come out to be successful. Wolfgang came to LA with the attitude of “I want to cook”. So he went and found a kitchen, and started cooking. Now, he’s successful. Where people screw up, Adam feels, is when they come out and say, “I’m going to get rich being an actor.” Or, “I’m going to get rich being a writer.” Those people will never be successful. When you come out and just decide, I want to act, or I want to write, and you just start doing as much of it as you can, you might eventually make it. And if you don’t, then your reward is the journey.
6:22 TARA REID
Tara Reid, star of American Pie, does NOT join Adam and the crew in studio. She had originally agreed to come on, and then Mike August, the talent booker, had said she wanted to come in at 6:15. Adam knew the chances were very slim, and of course, she didn’t come in. So, they put a top ten list together: the top ten reasons why Tara Reid did not come on the Adam Carolla Show.
1. Developing hyrogen-powered car for Honda
2. Drawing up blueprints for new London opera house
3. Up late last night for her fantasy football draft
4. Advising the President on the middle east
5. Stuck in line at patent office
6. Filming a new documentary on genocide in Darfur
7. Presenting new brain surgery technique to AMA
8. Teaching Unified Field Theory at Oxford
9. Working hard with Alan Greenspan with calculating new interest rates
10. Developing a universal heath care plan for the Democrats
Talent Booker Mike August calls up. Did he say today? He meant next Monday. Definitely next Monday.
6:28 PEREZ HILTON ON THE PHONE
Perez Hilton, celebrity gossip queen and owner of PerezHilton.com, joins the program via telephone. He’s sounding a little punchy, Adam adds. What do they want to talk about… baby Suri? Sure, if they want, Perez groans. Adam feels like it’s a pretty bizarre looking child, and Teresa tosses in that it looks much older than it’s alleged to be.
Shifting gears, Adam wants to talk about Lindsey Lohan. Perez got in trouble a little bit for posting pictures of Lindsey Lohan showing off a bit of her “fire crotch” on his website. Her publicist flipped out, but there’s really nothing Perez can do — he’s got to post stuff like that.
He dishes a few additional tidbits of dirt on some random Hollywood celebrities.
6:49 NEWS
Teresa covers the morning news.
6:54 DR. BRUCE
Dr. Bruce calls up to talk about the Croc Hunter incident a little bit more. His issue is this — if you’re stung by something, the absolute last thing you should do is rip the stinger out. If that’s what happened, that’s probably what killed him, Bruce says.
7:08 SPORTS
Dave covers the sports news.
And now, predictions.
AFC East: Indianapolis Colts will get the division.
AFC West: Denver Broncos.
AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers.
and the AFC representative in this year’s Super Bowl… the Denver Broncos.
7:22 MR. BRIGHTSIDE WITH TOM LEYKIS
It’s time for a spirited round of Mr. Brightside — a game where listeners call in with their problems, and Adam tries to make them feel better about it. To assist him, Tom Leykis sits on the line, chiming in when necessary.
Gabriel comes on the line. He’s hooked up with this crazy girl that’s bleeding him dry. In the big picture, crazy girls are trouble, but on the short term, they are great sex.
John calls up. He’s got the same situation as the last caller, but he got her pregnant, and he’s only 19. Why doesn’t anybody talk about adoption in these situations? Why not put it up for adoption? Well, she wants it pretty bad, John says. Adam needs to wax philosophical for a second. Guys approach everything so logically and pragmatically, whereas women do not do that. If you put the baby down on paper, it doesn’t work. But in reality, babies are a wonderful thing.
Sarah calls up. She’s their 72-year-old meth head, and she’s proud to announce that she hasn’t had a drink in three weeks. She needs cheering up, though. She has to go into the hospital for some back surgery, and if she doesn’t, she might be paralyzed.
7:46 WOLFGANG PUCK IN STUDIO
Wolfgang Puck, chef and restauranteur, joins Adam in the studio. Adam just watched his A&E Biography on TV the other night, but Wolfgang points out that it’s already getting a little old. Since it’s fresh on his mind, Adam quizzes Wolfgang on the myriad details of his life.
8:02 WOLFGANG PUCK AND OZZIE
Ozzie is going to have Wolfgang tast some of his delicious flap steak. He tells Ozzie that the taste is good but the meat is like chewing on his shoe sole. Adam says that a lot of guys can take a $30 cut of meat and make it taste good, but Ozzie can take the tail of a cow and make it taste good.
8:09 OZZIE REVIEWS WOLFGANG PUCK’S SIGNATURE TORTILLA SOUP
Ozzie gives the soup a thumbs down because Wolfgang told Ozzie that the meat reminded him of shoe leather.
8:21 THE JERK LIST WITH DAVE DAMESHEK
It’s time, once again, for Dave’s Jerk List. Jerks of the world, beware… Dave is on the prowl.
In the ongoing effort to eradicate the jerks of the world, the Jerk Hotline has been opened. Dave plays a few messages from the hotline.
And now, the first ever Jerk Spotlight, in honor of school starting back up. First grade. THe year was 1976. Dave was outside, playing with the fellas, and having his fun. This kid Donnie Gruber threw a stick towards a couple of his female classmates. They ran off to the teacher and told her that Donnie Gruber AND Dave Dameshek. Dave was just standing there! Recess was taken away from Dave just for being near Donnie! But, to understand that, you have to understand what happened a few weeks prior. They had to do this bizarre thing, where they ran laps around a track. One day, his new first grade teacher showed up to track wearing shorts, and Dave told her “you have pig legs.” It was factually and comedically inaccurate, but nonetheless. He apologized with a handwritten note, but the teacher obviously had an axe to grind. He tried to run away from school, only to get caught, and dragged back. When he got pulled up in front of the class, the teacher demanded an apology. Dave looked at her and said… you got your apology. So, the teacher played the parent card, and called up one Mo Dameshek. Mo told her, “He told you he never threw that stick.”
That’s why Mo Dameshek gets the Get Out of Jerk Free Card, and Dave’s first grade teacher is the CREEP OF THE WEEK!
8:40 HIGH SCHOOL STORIES
In a continuing tradition to celebrate the return of our children to school for another year, Adam calls for more listeners to chime in with their high school stories.
Adam’s first roommate, Don, calls up. They moved into an apartment on Laurel Canyon back in the day, when Adam got kicked out of his parents’ garage. The story he’s on to tell is, the pie story. The history of Don is simple. When Don got dumped, Don put a pie in the dumper’s face. Everybody knew about this practice, too. One day, Adam came home and saw a big pie box in the fridge. He of course asked right away, “Can we eat it?” But, they couldn’t. It had to go in her face. “Just one slice,” Adam would ask. “How could she know?” But Don would know. And that was enough.
They take some more calls from people who have had bizarre high school experiences.
9:12 WILLIE NELSON
A caller yesterday called up for the Outbook Mike August contest and promised Willie Nelson. Sure enough, Willie Nelson calls up.
9:27 GREG LEE
Greg Lee, a writer and Teresa’s ex-boyfriend, joins the crew in-studio. He talks a bit about Teresa and his relationship with her, which lasted about eight months.
