ADAM WITH MUSIC MONDAY, KEVIN CRONIN OF REO SPEEDWAGON AND MISS TEEN USA 2006 KATIE BLAIR — 5am to 10am PST, December 11, 2006

6:00 KAY WAD

Adam and Dave went up to Sacramento to head up a concert for one of the affiliates, KWOD 106.5. It was a great time, Adam says, except that Dave kept saying the name of the station wrong. “It’s not Kay-Wad,” he says. “It’s ‘Quad’.”

The more interesting aspect of the trip, Dave says, is that Adam pulled a power move on the plane the next morning. They were flying back at 4am from Sacramento to Los Angeles, and not 10 minutes after take-off, Adam had a beer in his hand. That early in the morning.

6:04 DOG RAN AWAY

Yesterday at Kimmels, Adam’s dog Molly got out, and everybody had noticed except for him. They drove around for her, and finally ended up locating her, in someone else’s yard. Apparently, the guy he was with was the dog whisperer.

6:08 GET A FAT TREE

If you can afford a thirty dollar Christmas tree, Adam says, get a fifty dollar one. It’s going to propel you into the new year. There’s certain things poor people do, to continue making themselves feel like a loser, and this is one of them. Don’t dress poor, he says, don’t look poor, and don’t get a poor Christmas tree.

6:20 CAPTAIN BLOWHARD

It’s time for a little Captain Blowhard — he’s not your mother, he’s not your buddy, and he’s not gonna lie to you. It’s not his business.

6:39 NEWS AND SPORTS

Teresa and Dave cover the news and sports.

6:53 THE PICKS

It was a miserable weekend for Dave and his football picks, he says. He’s dipped under 500 for the first time. Adam, on the other hand, went two and two.

Dave gives the wheel a spin, to determine what he’s got to give Adam. He gives it a hearty spin… and it lands on a hundred bucks, narrowly avoiding the five thousand.

7:09 OSWALDO’S MOVIE REVIEW

Oswaldo Castillo, the show’s resident Nicaraguan movie reviewer, comes into the studio and lays down a review of the weekend’s number one movie, Apocalypto.

7:26 MUSIC MONDAY: NEVER AGAIN

It’s a Music Monday, and this week, they’re focused on songs that aren’t necessarily bad — they’re just played out. Way out. It has a bit to do with the way they do radio market research, he feels. It’s not the brightest people. Who else is free to go sit and listen to music on a Tuesday afternoon? They aren’t captains of industry.

The best example of this is Stairway to Heaven, Dave feels. Adam gave that one a pass, because he has great reverence for the band. Before he gets to his top five, he’s got some quick bonus songs. First up, is Depeche Mode, with People Are People. He doesn’t have any Depeche Mode albums, none of his friends do either, and yet Adam knows all the words to this song. The next bonus song is Cocaine by Eric Clapton. Why did he cover this song? Next up, how about a little Hot Blooded, by Foreigner? And of course, some Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen.

Enough with the bonus songs, Adam says. On to the top five. Number five is the Eagles, with Heartache Tonight. This was when the Eagles decided to just branch out and cover all the musical bases, he feels. The number four song, Adam didn’t mind when it came out, but it’s so, so effed out. Of course, it’s Bad To The Bone by George Thorogood. Coming in at number three, it’s Mony Mony, by the timeless Billy Idol.

On to Teresa’s number three. This is a good song, she says, but a few things have happened to it, not the least of which was its’ appearance on George W. Bush’s iPod. Brown-Eyed Girl, by Van Morrison.

Dave’s number three is an Adam Carolla Show favorite — Falling, by LeBlanc and Karr. More specifically, John Mark Karr performing it at his friend’s wedding. “You and Bryan have ruined this song, Adam.”

Coming in at Teresa’s number two is a cover by Marvin Gaye, from the Big Chill soundtrack — Heard It Through the Grapevine. You’d think it’s a great song the first time you hear it, but by this point, you never, ever want to hear it again.

Number two for Dave is a song that everybody’s heard at every wedding and graduation for the past decade. Kool and the Gang lay down a track called Celebration, and they play it at everything.

Back to Adam’s list, at number two. John Cougar Mellencamp, with his song Jack and Diane. This seems like a good song at first, Adam adds, because it tells a story. But it’s always the same story with these kinds of songs, he says.

Teresa’s number one song is from 1984, and it’s by The Police. “It’s more of a ditty than a song,” Adam adds. That song is, of course, Every Breath You Take. What’s creepy is that this is a lot of people’s wedding songs, Teresa says. Dave can’t believe that; this song is seemingly about stalkers.

Topping Dave’s list is a song that’s heard by people in every stadium and sports arena in the country. America’s favorite artist, Gary Glitter, with his song Rock And Roll Part 2.

Finally, Adam’s number one. It’s not a bad song, he says; it’s an interesting song. The Eagles, with Hotel California. “This song goes on forever,” he says. The crew wonders about some superstition involving listening to this song at night, but Dave cuts it off and points out that if they keep listening to this song, it WILL be night.

They move on to the callers’ number one songs, and then bring in Kevin Cronin, the lead singer of REO Speedwagon, to give his list. His number two is, amazingly, one of his own songs — Can’t Fight This Feeling, by REO Speedwagon. Adam can’t believe he’d put his own song on the list. He might be bitter, Kevin says, because he’s had to perform it so many times.

8:21 THE HITS REMIXED

The show’s taken some of REO’s biggest hits, and written some new lyrics for them — and now they’ll be performed by Kevin Cronin.

8:38 PERSONAL STORIES

Adam decides to tell one of his much beloved personal stories — this time, one he’s never told before. He’s got a small arsenal of stories from his time working at the McDonald’s. His father is super, super cheap. Cheap by 1940’s standards. And Adam needed a little WAM — some “walkin’ around money.” Originally, he applied at the Taco Bell, but he got rejected. “I wasn’t Taco Bell material,” he adds.

Time passes very slowly at the grill, Adam says. Very, very slowly. It’s pretty boring too, because at McDonald’s, nobody mixes it up. It’s just quarter pounders and Big Macs. Take the frozen patty out, toss it on the grill, put it on a bun and wrap it up. Adam loved to screw up, too. He’d always accidentally toast the wrong side of the bun. When you saw the wrong side of the bun toasted, you’d know you got the Aceman’s signature special.

Once in awhile, Adam would get a little time behind the broom, and he’d be out there sweeping. One of those fateful days, some snot-nosed kids decided they’d make fun of him. They started rolling up on him going “hey mop boy, heeeyy,” giving the typical punk sass. Adam sat there in wait, and watched the kids on their skateboards. He had his eye on one particular boy — the ringleader — to get close enough. He came closer, and closer, and right before he went to turn… Adam dropped that mop and charged the kid. He had a look of “HOLY CHRIST” on his face, as Adam quickly closed the gap. He slammed the kid into the trunk of a car, and the skateboard went flying. “It was a Starsky and Hutch move,” he adds.

9:03 THE WHO

The show’s giving away some tickets to The Who, and they’re doing it with a new take on their classic game: Oswaldo’s The Who Game. Oswaldo sings a Who song, listeners call in and try to guess what it is, and if they’re right, they get some tickets.

9:21 NEWS AND SPORTS RECAP

Teresa and Dave recap the news and sports.

9:40 KATIE BLAIR

Katie Blair, the Miss Teen USA 2006 winner, joins the crew in-studio. She’s also recently done a campaign for YMI Jeans, which can be seen on billboards all over Los Angeles, as well as ymijeans.com.