ADAM WITH STEVE-O AND PENN JILLETTE – 5am to 10am PST, January 26, 2007

6:00 MORNINGS

“Penn Jilette is going to be on, as well as Steve O’Donnell…” Teresa chuckles. “Is that a combination of Steve-O and Rosie O’Donnell?” Adam apologizes, and corrects that it’s Steve-O coming on the show, but he has a friend named Steve O’Donnell who works for Jimmy Kimmel Live. The way he just did that, is why he can’t do early morning news reporting. Of course, the people who do early morning news reporting aren’t much better, Adam feels, and he cites that story about the plane that crashed into a condo in New York City, where the reporters never mentioned if anybody got hurt.

Another interesting news story is one that Adam saw this morning, about Tyra Banks putting on weight, is funny because she was caught at a bad angle in her underwear, after she actually dedicates entire shows to talking about underwear.

“In Helsinki, some chick rigged another chick’s parachute,” Adam says, and he wants to open the topic up to the listeners. A jealous girlfriend actually did this, rigging not only her boyfriend’s parachute to not open, but rigging the parachute of the girl he was cheating on her with.

6:24 REVENGE

The question for the listeners this morning is, what have you done to get revenge? Denise kicks off the topic with a note: skydivers check their own parachutes. Yes, Adam says, but this is how friends kill each other, because these people trusted each other to not do something like that. However, he adds, you should probably give your chute a cursory look-over before you strap it to your back and put your life in its’ hands.

Danny wonders, what has Adam done similar to this, since he came up with the topic? Well, Adam says, he did take a whiz on an ex-girlfriend’s car once. Danny says he’s done that too, but he was trying to put out the fire he’d just set to it.

One listener calls in with a doozie: she actually convinced someone she had a child by him for a long time, by using her sister’s kid. “She’s messed up, deeply,” Teresa says. Adam really feels like it’s time for this woman to confess to this, especially after finding out she’s been doing it for fourteen years. This dirty laundry stays with her everywhere she goes, he says, and it’s time to get it out there and put it behind her. Why not write the guy a letter, he asks? She sighs. “It’s just gone on too long.” Adam tells her to write a letter.

6:54 JOEL MCHALE OF E’S “THE SOUP”

Joel McHale, host of E’s “The Soup”, stops by with his usual pile of clips, and dishes a little TV gossip for Adam and the listeners.

7:35 TERESA STRASSER’S NEWS

A former Mississippi sheriff’s deputy pleaded “not guilty” to a slaying that is supposedly linked to the Ku Klux Klan. The man was long believed to be dead, and was only found through the help of a documentary filmmaker working for the Canadian Broadcasting Company. Adam wonders what is going on with law enforcement, when so many criminals are being caught through the help of siblings, or friends, or documentary filmmakers. Incidentally, Adam asks, when are we going to get the No Lie MRI machine going as a real tool of justice?

The winning Powerball ticket was purchased at a grocery store in St. Louis, Missouri – they took home the jackpot of over 200 million dollars. Teresa was curious as to whether the winner could take the entire jackpot now, and here’s how it works: you get 200 million in annuity payments over 29 years, or 120 million right now. Adam can’t believe that’s how it works, and feels like you should get it all up front, no matter what, because that’s how gambling always works.

Plastic surgery gone wrong has driven the lead singer of Dead Or Alive to sue his surgeon, for some kind of a problem with his lips. Adam wonders, was this guy some sort of a transsexual? “Yeah,” Teresa says.

One last note – tonight, Adam Carolla will be on an episode of NBC’s Las Vegas.

7:59 THE VIRGIN REPORT

During the Christmas Carolla live broadcast, they held a little contest to see who was most deserving of a free trip to the Bunny Ranch, to be “fully serviced” by one of the lovely ladies there. They landed on a 24 year old virgin named Jack, and sent him on out there, where he’s been for the last couple of days.

Today, he’s back, along with Dennis Hof and the lovely ladies at the Bunny Ranch, to tell the tale.

8:24 STEVE-O

Steve-O from Jackass joins the crew in studio, and it might be a little awkward. The last time Steve saw Adam was during the filming of an episode of Too Late with Adam Carolla, where Steve tried to “strangle the life” out of Adam. They put some booze out for Steve backstage at that taping, but what they didn’t know is Steve showed up drunk. By the time he got to the stage, he was so drunk that he lost control.

8:44 JACKASS STUNTS

They want to take calls from people who have done their own Jackass-style stunts, but first, Adam wants to tell a story of one that he’s done. Back in the day, there was a set of concrete stairs that he just couldn’t bring himself to jump down. He finally worked up the courage to do it, and banged himself up pretty bad, but he got to check it off his mental list. Teresa can understand that – that was a feat. Danny tells a similar story of him and his friends accomplishing something, and Teresa points out that again, Danny got hurt incidentally, just like Adam, but Steve-O hurts himself intentionally. “He has no class,” she adds.

Adam heads off to the phones and takes calls from people who’ve done some real stunts of their own.

9:00 PENN JILLETTE

Penn Jilette, famed magician, television and radio personality, joins the crew via telephone. He’s the host of the new game show Identity, which is putting out a call for contestants this weekend. Listeners, or anybody else who wants to try out, can go this weekend to the Hollywood Center Studios on Santa Monica and Las Palmas, fill out some forms, and audition.

9:18 NEWS RECAP

Teresa Strasser recaps her news.

9:40 THINGS YOU REGRET

Yesterday, the show did the topic of “things the listeners regret.” Today, they continue that, and it kicks off on a sad note: a listener who killed his friend’s dog with beer. He’d heard a rumor that beer was good for dogs, so he let this dog have as much beer as he wanted. The next morning, the dog was dead. Another caller actually knocked his sister out cold with a croquet ball, which evokes a pained “ooooooh” from Adam. “A croquet ball is a killing instrument,” he adds.