Adam with the LA Avengers, Wayne Brady, Jeff Probst, Deaf Frat Guy and Prisoner David – May 10, 2007
6:01AM – TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN
Teresa’s home was broken into while they were inside. Now she is terrified and has to sleep with a night light.
The conversations turns to the evolution of man and how we stay on the top of the food chain. And Adam and Danny discuss the nonsensical strength of silverback gorillas. Adam thinks he would be a bottom if he were taken by a gorilla.
Oh, and dolphins can be gay.
6:22AM – SPORTS KNOWLEDGE
The LA Avengers’ quarterback and long snapper will be on the show, but Danny is confused abut exactly what a long snapper does….
Adam and Teresa try to explain to Danny the role of the long snapper in football, as well as why it’s a crappy job cause if you F it up, you ruin the rest of the play.
Once, while back in high school and Adam was doing the long snapping, Adam got called for holding. He starts arguing with the guy who called him on it, and before you knew it, they were punting from the end zone. Adam had been playing both offense and defense, it was muddy and drizzly, and Adam feared that he was going to lose the game for his team by screwing up the snap – but he actually won.
Danny doesn’t want to get the girly reputation by not knowing sports. During filming some of the stuff for Danny’s show, Danny got a guy to say some stuff so Danny could punch him. Thus, the NY Times carried a story that Danny punched a UFC champ at the bar. But then Danny got made fun of for not knowing the weight classes.
They decide that the best thing would be a cheat sheet that outlines how different sports are scored, terminology, and so forth.
6:48AM – LA AVENGERS
The arena football team, the Los Angeles Avengers’ quarterback and long snapper are in the studio – and Adam is impressed with their size – a little smaller than what you’d find in the NFL, but those guys are just huge.
Couple of changes from ‘regular’ football to be aware of: In the average arena football game, it’s faster with more scoring. In fact though, quite a few of the guys seem to use arena football as a stepping stone into the NFL.
Danny’s favorite part is the hockey-like rule of being able to smash guys up against the boards. Sonny, the quarterback, tried to do the NFL thing, but it didn’t really work out, so he went to areana instead.
According to Adam, anything that goes into the stands, the fans get to keep. Teresa wants to know if cute Josh applies to this rule.
This Saturday, the LA avengers have a game – tickets available on Ticketmaster
7:05AM – TERESA STRASSER REPORTS THE NEWS
President Bush accidentally welcomed Queen Elizabeth to a dinner by thanking her for her last visit in 1776. Adam explains this – politicians seem to have no sense of humor. Politicians are lumped in with kids intellectually, says Adam – we treat President Bush and what comes out of his mouth the same as a retarded 8-year-old.
Paula’s been very lucid on American Idol the last couple weeks but as of last night, seemed to be back to her old ways. Randy and Paula switched seats, but when asked why, Paula goes off on how Jessica Alba is so hot. LaKeisha went home, leaving only Melinda, Jordin, and Blake in the runnings.
Axel Rose’s new album has been leaked out on the internet, so they play a few drops from some of the tracks.
There’s some discussion about Barry Gibb’s performance last night – and the bad side of clinging to the past.
7:37AM – WAYNE BRADY
Comedian Wayne Brady is on the show and it’s ironic that he’s know for his squeaky clean image – but as Danny explains, once you get famous, that’s what you’re famous for.
Wayne’s impressions were a learned talent since as a child he was very quite and not very popular. This reminds Adam of the best way to get back at the people who made fun of you in high school is to show up ultra successful. Wayne did this at his reunion, showing up with the E! channel and such.
Wayne makes up a song on the spot about the girl who wouldn’t date you in high school, but now you’re famous.
7:53AM – BLACK AND FAMOUS
Wayne suggests adding a new bit – “Definitely not a brother.” They get into a discussion about expensive cars and the difficult decision between a Maserati Quattro Port and a rebuilt Shelby. Perk of being a famous black guy: Wayne was driving his 600 Mercedes on the way to Las Vegas for speeding, the cop recognizes him, and Wayne gets off with a warning.
8:12AM – JEFF PROBST
Jeff Probst is in New York and calling in – but is literally across the street from Times Square. Survivor is on tonight, so Adam’s gearing up for the dance he does with his kids to the opening song everytime he watches the show.
Today’s plug: The Home Depot Master Card Backyard Retreat Contest, which means that by buying something on your master card, you get entered to win a $100000 to created a backyard retreat.
The Survivor finale is a two-parter tonight and this Sunday – and is a little controversial. Apparently, it’s the idea of ‘I gave you my word but…’ times ten according to Jeff.
8:34AM – DEAF FRAT GUY
DFG is in the studio and was witness to the vomiting limo ride back from San Diego with Adam, Ozzie, and Ray. The reason for so much fun perhaps though, according to DFG, is that Danny was not there to ‘put DFG on a shelf.’ There’s a little tension between DFG and Danny – and Danny wants to know what he’s learned as the trainer of an MMG fighter.
Adam and Teresa try to explain to DFG why you can’t threaten Danny – he won’t take it and he’s also a 3rd degree black belt.
DGF explains the delicate difference between the Cougar and the MILF – Cougars are usually childless apparently. DFG is a Cougar expert, as he knows their summer hunting grounds and along with some other hunters, will be passing out some cougar hunting licenses. The sheer genius of this invention reminds Danny that he things DFG is underrated because of his impairment.
8:58AM – BOTTOMED OUT CALLER STORIES
As the CEO of HBO has stepped down for getting drunk and abusing his girlfriend in Vegas, Adam wants to hear from the callers about times that they too bottomed out.
Caller Michelle got into doing porn after turning 18 in September, but her family and school all found out so she quit. People were putting naked pictures of her on her car, she got an STD, and she realized it was a mistake. Adam explains the issue: people have a horrible need to out and shame others. In any case, Michelle now wants to be a flight attendant, but the show isn’t so convinced she actually wants to leave the porn industry.
Another caller got addicted to ecstasy and then lost everything – and curses on the radio despite being warned. Adam decides you can’t continue to tell him a story like that after you’d been warned already – and not be stupid.
9:27AM – T RECAPS THE NEWS
T recaps the news.
9:40AM – PRISONER DAVID
It’s Mother’s Day in Mexico, so there’s a bunch of Mexican music in the background when Prisoner David calls in.
David has picked up a little bit of Spanish while in the joint – and actually is thinking about possibly doing a little bit of Ranchero DJ when he gets out. He does a demo for Adam, and Adam suggests he try to work in a little plug to Budweiser.
9:54AM – ADAM WRAPS UP THE SHOW
