Adam with America’s Toughest Sheriff John Arapaio, Lynn and Alex, Bernard Hopkins, Jorge Garcia – May 22, 2007
6:01AM – HOW MUCH IS YOUR TIME WORTH?
Adam and Danny discuss the finer points of jumping rope, including optimal weights, techniques, tips and tricks.
Along with his nifty counting jump rope, Danny also pulled out his old boxing stuff…along with multiple empty mini bottles of vodka. Adam complimented his rope, so Danny went out and found one with weights on it.
They also discuss the sort of service you should expect from someone at a big box store, where the choices far outweigh the attention, help, and expertise you can expect to receive. Bottom line: your time is worth money, so figure out if standing in line to save the extra 10 cents is really worth it.
6:25AM – SHERIFF JOHN ARPAIO
America’s Toughest Sheriff, John Arpaio, is on the phone to talk about the American jailing system and his thoughts about Paris Hilton’s impending incarceration.
The biggest question with jailing is whether it’s actually a deterrent or not, though it would seem to be common logic that the more uncomfortable the situation may be, the less someone would want to be there much less return. Smoking, coffee, salt, no TV, no radio, pink underwear – all part of John’s tactics to make the prison stay less than comfortable.
John runs the county jails, not the prisons, but everybody comes through the county jails first. Since he’s in AZ, Adam wants to know what his thoughts are about controlling the flow of illegals. John actually locks up the smugglers and smugglees that they discover, but of course building a fence doesn’t really work as there’s always someone with a ladder or shovel.
Trying to determine what is racist and what is not, Adam raises a good point – if it was just Canadians coming over willy nilly, there wouldn’t be a problem with stopping that flow because they’re white.
Talking about Paris, if John had her in his institution, she’d be treated just the same as all the other inmates with the same rights and privileges having been restricted, but the Californian jail she’s slated to spend some time at doesn’t want to give her up. Adam talks about his and Jimmy’s prison experience and the guys they talked to with the life sentences.
6:52AM – MR. BRIGHTSIDE
Callers tell Adam their problems and Adam points out the bright side to the issue, no matter how desperate the situation may seem.
7:16AM – TERESA REPORTS THE NEWS
There’s some discussion about Lynette’s dislike of the “Definitely not a Jew” bit and then the lack of editing in Danny’s book.
Finally on to the news:
Animals in Denver are coming down with the plague – and somehow Adam convinces himself that a squirrel had sex with a money who came down with the plague and then ate the squirrel…
According to a Swedish study, more hens are initiating sex with roosters in the morning, since then the hens can get more stuff done during the day.
Big American Idol finale tonight, Paula Abdul tripped over her dog and broke her nose – but apparently she’s fine.
7:45AM – LYNN AND ALEX DO THE GOSSIP RECAP
The show’s favorite gay couple is in the studio to share some of the juicy gossip going around town.
8:13AM – BERNARD HOPKINS
Bernard “The Executioner” Hopkins, prize fighter, is on the phone to talk about one of Adam and Danny’s favorite topics: boxing. Danny eventually ends up loosely connecting his obsession with fighting to his crumbling marriage status.
8:32AM – HYPER VIGILANCE
Displaying his hyper vigilance skills, Adam plays a song by one band – which reminded him of another old and obscure song, “Sally Go Round the Roses” from the year before he was even born.
Teresa reminds everybody of another famous hyper vigilant individual – Joe Montana. Adam goes off on a theory that QBs have the ability to sense pressure in the pocket and backs it up with his own experiences playing broomball.
8:50AM – OZZY SINGS RUSH
Adam has callers compete by guessing the title of the Ozzy’s rendition of a Rush song for concert tickets.
9:09AM – TERESA RECAPS THE NEWS
T recaps her news.
9:26AM – JORGE GARCIA
Jorge Garcia talks about the secrets of Lost in a rousing interview with our own Adam Carolla.
9:40AM – MONEY MAKES IT HAPPEN
There’s a discussion about the laziness of rich people, as they are usually only good at one thing – and just pay everybody else to do the rest. Watching CNN this morning, Adam saw a story about a bridge in San Francisco that needed to get rebuilt, but the construction got delayed until more money was offered. The point here is that the best kind of people don’t need to be motivated with more incentive and can instead be rewarded with it after the fact.
9:56AM – ADAM WRAPS THE SHOW
