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6:01 AM – RING SHOPPING TALK

Teresa talks about wedding ring shopping, she says she really could care less about jewelry, she must be “missing the wedding ring gene.” Teresa is incensed, how dare DeBeers tell her how much money should be spent on the purchase of her engagement ring!! That is why Teresa is contemplating the purchase of a vintage diamond ring as opposed to the purchase of a blood diamond.

6:19 AM – MIT MIKE AND DAVE IN THE STUDIO

MIT Mike and MIT Dave are in the studio, two of the guys who inspired the infamous card counting movie, Twenty one: the true story of MIT students who went to Las Vegas and used their genius to master the blackjack tables and literally brought down the house! Adam says, “if you use your brain against the house, it’s better than using a gun!”

Adam says it would seem to him to be illegal to communicate with your friend or partner while sitting at the table, Mike and Dave say it is absolutely legal!

6:32 AM – MIT MIKE AND DAVE STILL WITH US

MIT Mike and Dave continue to hang out in the studio. Adams asks them to explain in layman’s terms how card counting works: They say it basically is just keeping count of all the high cards.

Mike and Dave say their favorite casinos in Las Vegas are the Mirage and MGM, they say they literally use to walk from casino to casino with hundreds of thousands of dollars in their pockets!

Check out their website and learn to count cards from the masters themselves!

6:55 AM – ADAM ACCEPTS YOUR APOLOGIES

Listeners call in to clear their consciouses! Bob calls in so sad and guilty because he stole a thousand bucks from his poor infirmed grandma! He’s definitely going to hell!

Joel calls in wanting to make amends for throwing a can of Dr. Pepper at a girl’s head from a moving car, ouch!! He’s definitely going to hell too and Adam does not forgive him.

7:25 AM – JOAN RIVERS ON THE SHOW

The legendary Joan Rivers is in the studio. Adam calls Joan a “cash cow that never stops paying off!”

Joan’s gay friend Matt is in the studio as well and relays the tragic death of his boyfriend: he had a heart attack and dropped dead in another man’s bed! Matt says it involved pizza and Xanax , it’s really not how it seems! How does it seem Matt?!

Adam asks Joan who she watches and respects on television these days? Joan says she doesn’t watch anyone, “they can all go to hell!” Joan has been banned from all evening talk shows for years now, going way back to the time when she appeared on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Joan does not want to go into details, however she does call them all “stupid, f-ing a-holes!!” F. them all she says!

7:38 AM – UHH, I DON’T KNOW!!

In a USA Today snapshot readers were asked if they would date a co-worker. The percentage of people who responded “I don’t know” was close to 70%!! This drives Adam crazy!! Adam says to all you losers out there, if you respond to things with the stupidest answer in the world, “I don’t know, you are an idiot!”

7:55 AM – TERESA’S EX MARRIES

Teresa has a bombshell to share: her ex-boyfriend whom she broke up with is getting married!! OMG! She thought they were just taking a little break, WTF? Now he’s getting married? How can this be? Teresa is obviously not over this guy! The worst thing of all is that Teresa was sent a nasty e-mail from her ex-boyfriend’s new girl over her MySpace account, spitefully detailing their new found love and was descriptive and conniving enough to include a picture of this little tramp licking her ex, square across his cheek. How nice!

8:19 AM – WILL ARNETT IN THE STUDIO


Will Arnett is in the studio to promote his new movie Semi-Pro; watch the trailer here.

The gang talks about their favorite television show, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew!

8:36 AM – WILL ARNETT CONTINUES TO HANG OUT


Will Arnett continues to hang out in the studio. Will talks about his adorable wife, Amy Poehler who stars on Saturday Night Live.

8:50 AM – WHAT CAN’T ADAM COMPLAIN ABOUT?

In “What Can’t Adam Complain About,” listeners call in with issues they are positive Adam could not possible rage over, but OH NO!! Adam can complain about anything people, ANYTHING!

Adam complains about the following: new rims and tires, Danny ousted off the show, and Adams lovely children smiling at him!

9:13 AM – TOM SELLECK PHONES IN

Tom Selleck calls into the studio. Tom talks about his journey into acting, he actually started off as a model. Tom says the best thing that ever happened to him was his gig on Magnum P.I.

Adam asks Tom if he was forced to quite acting what would he do instead? Tom says, “stay at home and watch my avocado’s grow!” Tom has no political agenda people!

Watch Tom’s new new television show, Jesse Stone: Sea Change which airs on CBS.

9:35 AM – TEDDY TALK

Teddy, our ex-phone screener calls into the studio to set the record straight as to why he was fired! Jack silver calls in to really set the record straight as to why he “bulleted him of the show!” Jack says, “first and foremost he is insubordinate…he must have worked at Hot Dog on a Stick” before he got into radio! Has the record been set straight? Absolutely not!! The gang says, “we all still love you Teddy!”

Mahalo!! Order The Hammer on DVD now!