6:01 AM - HOW SAY YOU?
Adam has a meat hangover this morning, he had a rough night last night, he shot numerous episodes for The Best Damn Sports Show and then had dinner at Fogo de Chão and boy is he feeling the beef this morning! Making it even worse, Adam says he had the worst night sleep of his whole life last night. Adam and the gang talk about how annoying people who have no problem sleeping can be, it’s almost like they flaunt it! Adam cannot stand people who literally fall asleep the moment their head hits the pillow, what bastards!
6:23 AM - HOW SAY YOU? CONTINUES
Adam talks about the time he had to have a root canal; it was a balmy day in May when he went to see his dentist. The only good thing about visiting a dentist is to get high off nitrous oxide, everyone knows that! Adam says his stupid dentist didn’t want to give it to him saying, ‘you can handle it, you don’t need it!’ Hell if he didn’t! Adam says you would have thought he was begging for crack the way the dentist responded! Adam practically had to tackle him and put him in a choke hold in order to get a hit!! Finally, Adam was able top get his high on and was having a good time when the goddamn Manhattan Transfer’s Christmas album started to play and totally f’ed up his high!
6:41 AM - DARIUS RUCKER IS IN THE STUDIO
Darius Rucker is in the studio and talks about turning country. Adam asks Darius if he had a hard childhood because he has to be able to relate to the rednecks if he’s going to go country, no worries Adam, Darius did have a hard childhood, he was raised by his mother and grandmother in South Carolina, he has a ton of siblings and he actually used to bathe in a bucket so he can totally relate!
Check out Darius’s first country album Learn To Live which is available for sale now.
Darius promotes Mastercard Roots of Rock, enter to win a chance to see Jon Bon Jovi, Eric Clapton and Kenny Chesney perform LIVE in the UK.
7:02 AM - TERESA REPORTS THE NEWS
Teresa reports the news.
* Chris Kattan separates from wife.
* Olympic latest news: women’s water polo; Men’s 400m Final; women’s softball; men’s 100 and 200 meters race.
7:32 AM - JEFFREY ROSS IS IN THE STUDIO
Comedian Jeff Ross is in the studio. Jeff talks about returning to New Jersey for a homecoming stand-up comedy show special, No Offense which airs on Comedy Central tomorrow night.
Jeff talks about some of his favorite things to do on his off time, who knew Jeff loves to bake and write calligraphy? That is “so special,” and by special Adam means retarded!
7:48 AM - JEFFREY CONTINUES TO HANG OUT
Jeff continues to hang out. Adam asks him what is the meanest joke he has ever told. Jeff says it was definitely at the Pam Anderson roast. First of all Jeff came on stage in a fur coat, and Pam’s crazy friend Courtney Love practically tackled him on the stage. Jeff said to the crowd, “how is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?” Jeff says he really is “doing the lords work” because 48 hours later crazy drunk Courtney checked her ass into rehab.
8:05 AM - DAVID KOECHNER CALLS IN; LAURA KIGHTLINGER IS IN THE STUDIO
David Koechner calls into the studio, and the beautiful Laura Kightlinger is in the studio to promote the LA Shorts Fest, a mockumentary about an “alleged horror film and all the happenings that occur on and off the set.” Tonight is the last night to check it out, don’t miss it peeps at the Laemmle Sunset Five Theater.
8:20 AM - LAURA KIGHTLINGER CONTINUES TO HANG OUT
Comedienne Laura Kightlinger continues to hang out. Laura was the first girl to co-host alongside Adam on Loveline. Laura admits the producers called her into their office and actually told her to leave the joke telling to Adam, ouch!
Laura talks about her ex-honey Jack Black, obviously looks are not that important to her, speaking of freakish looking men, Laura reveals to Adam that she actually had a little crush on him back in the day! Seriously? Oh ya!
Laura talks abouts about the worst date of her life, she f’ed this guy and in the morning woke up thinking ‘wow, I’m really sweaty’, oh no baby, that wasn’t sweat! The guy actually took a whiz on her during the night, gross!
8:41 AM - ADAM RELAYS CNN STORY
Adam was watching CNN this morning with his little Molly Girl. Adam plays the tape of the lame interview with retarded Virginia Governor Tim Kaine, absolutely pointless! Adam was so annoyed with the interview and calls Tim a “willowy puss!” Adam says if this douche is chosen as Barack’s VP he swears he will not vote for Obama!
9:01 AM - TERESA RECAPS THE NEWS
Teresa recaps the news.
* Cutie Julianne Hough has a new love!
* Ricky Martin is a papa, seriously!
9:39 AM - PRISONER DAVIS CALLS IN
Prisoner David calls into the studio from guess where? PRISON! David is currently serving a life sentence for conspiracy to commit murder!! We’ve missed our favorite prisoner, we haven’t heard from David in over three months because there was an attempted escape at the prison and everyone was forced into lockdown. The guy who attempted to escape actually used dental floss and toothpaste to cut through the iron bars! Adam asks, “was he an orthodontist gone bad?”
T. asks David what is the one thing he would want to do the most if let out of prison, David says definitely purchase a comfy mattress so he could finally have a good night’s sleep and also he really misses “taking long walks on the beach!”
9:56 AM - ADAM WRAPS THE SHOW
Mahalo! Purchase The Hammer on DVD now!
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