6:01 AM – HOW SAY YOU?
Adam talks about heading over to Home Depot to pick up some supplies and how annoyed he became when the framing gun he wanted to purchase was located on the top damn shelf in the store. Adam had to ask for help that took forever to get, finally the sales lady literally had to pull the ladder over which made him really uncomfortable because he says he felt so weird watching this young chick having to lug over the heavy ladder and says he was totally torn whether to help her or not. It was very upsetting to him!
Adam rants about book stores, he thinks people who read are so damn stupid!
6:26 AM – HOW SAY YOU? CONTINUES
Adam talks about how times have changed so drastically over the years. T. talks about her grandmother’s mastectomy and how years ago medicine was so medieval, they literally hacked off her boob! Adam says take a look at his grandmothers life back in the day, “if she wanted to go to Europe she had to go on a boat for crying out loud!” Adam asks “can we possibly do as much as we’ve done in the next 80 years?” Adam finds this so unbelievable!
6:52 AM – THIS WEEK IN RAGE
In this segment of ‘This Week in Rage’ Adam counts down the top five things that totally enraged him this week:
5. Giant hotel pillows
4. Natalia telling him to stop talking
3. Phillies: the laziest team name
2. Staff at the W Hotel
1. Maxine Waters saying the rich are not paying their fair share?
7:05 AM – TERESA REPORTS THE NEWS
Teresa reports the news.
* McCain, Obama trade jokes, not jabs at dinner.
* 7 reasons Sox will win in 7 .
* Florida man sues strip club over dancer’s flying shoe.
7:25 AM – MARK WAHLBERG PHONES INTO THE STUDIO
Actor Mark Wahlberg phones into the studio. Adam says he loves Mark’s hit show Entourage and asks him how much involvement does he have in the show. Mark says “as far as giving the guys ideas” he “doesn’t do much”, saying everyone “really knows what they’re doing.”
Adam congratulates Mark on his new baby and upcoming marriage, Mark says he wanted to wait to get married until he could “build a foundation” with his honey. Adam says he’s “really smart” to have waited; Mark says this marriage is definitely going to last and he couldn’t be happier!
Mark stars in the new movie Max Payne which opens in theaters today. Watch the trailer here and check out the reviews.
Don’t miss Entourage which airs Sunday nights on HBO.
7:44 AM – TERESA CONTINUES TO REPORT THE NEWS
Teresa continues to report the news.
* McCain tells Letterman, ‘I screwed up’.
* Dodger caught in pickoff play.
* Madonna is being ‘beastly’, says Guy Ritchie.
8:04 AM – RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
In this segment of ‘Relationship Advice’ Adam, T. and the late Isaac Hayes hand out free realtionship advice to callers in need.
John calls in to say he’s “only allowed sex every other day” with his fiancee therefore he has turned to watching porn…until his “old lady” found a porn charge on his credit card!! UH OH!! T. says “all men love porn,” what’s the big f’ing deal? Adam says “women: you should get past this almost immediately!”
Cristina phones in, she’s been married to her honey for over ten years now, the problem is he’s ten years older and she’s questioning if he’s the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with, she’s worried she married too young. Adam says listen up baby doll, “do not make the other person in your relationship responsible for your happiness”. Adam tells Cristina she needs to “get a hobby and find a muse…you have to keep yourself mentally in shape to keep your marriage going.”
8:31 AM – RELATIONSHIP ADVICE CONTINUES
Adam, the late Isaac Hayes and T. continue to hand out realtionship advice to callers in need in another round of ‘Relationship Advice’.
James calls in; he’s been dating his sweetie for over six years and now has purchased a house and says his lady has not contributed a dime! You’re not married James and it’s not her damn house for crying out loud! WTF?! Adam says, “it’s time to s. or get off the pot James!!”
Monica phones in and asks, “where are all the good single men?” Monica cannot get a damn man and has been single for over eight years now. T. says “it’s probably a reflection of something deeper, maybe you’re just not ready Monica”. Adam suggests Monica get online and join JDate immediately, Teresa says “she’s definitely not a Jew!”
8:53 AM – RALPHIE MAY IS IN THE STUDIO
Comedian Ralphie May is in the studio. The gang talks about drugs, Ralphie says he loves him some weed, T. says she loves herself some Vicodin and asks Ralphie if he has any on him and if so can he throw some her way?!
Ralphie and the gang talk about Obama, Ralphie says he “just found out he was black”, who knew? Everyone in the world besides Ralphie, that’s who!
Ralphie talks about his Jewish wife and his adorable daughter named April June May. He’s not kidding people, that’s really her name. T. says “that is the most gentile name I have ever heard!” Ralphie says “I married a Jew, had a Jew, I’m doing the work of Christ.”
Don’t miss Ralphie’s LIVE stand-up performance at the Irvine Improv tonight through this Sunday. Purchase tickets here.
9:12 AM – TERESA RECAPS THE NEWS; RALPHIE HANGS OUT
Teresa recaps the news.
9:30 AM – TERESA CONTINUES TO RECAP THE NEWS; RALPHIE HANGS OUT
Teresa continues to recap the news.
* Man chews through belly-busting 20-lb. burger.
9:56 AM – ADAM WRAPS THE SHOW
Mahalo! Order The Hammer on DVD today!
