6:01 AM – HOW SAY YOU?
The gang talk about the Los Angeles heat, boy is it hot! Adam says he became “a gypsy whore” over the weekend at his kiddies “pre-pre-pre preschool bake sale.” Adam says he was forced to walk around pushing a god damn cart topped with bake goods, it was absolutely miserable, he was so damn hot he “practically melted”.
T. talks about one of her hottest moments; it was last year at the Playboy mansion, T. was so damn hot her “chicken cutlets exploded!”
Adam went to Kimmel’s yesterday to watch himself a little football and talks about Kimmel making the best damn Paella he has ever eaten. Adam says, “Jimmy lives to cook for everyone…cooking for people is his form of entertainment”.
The gang talk about the upcoming Blotto in the Grotto party at the Playboy mansion. Adam asks “remember the olden days when women had natural breasts and didn’t look so damn plastic?” Adam really misses “those boobies!” T. says “take a look at Jenna Jamison, she looks like she’s from another species.” Adam says the reason fake boobies are so popular is because, “it’s about playing to the masses..this nation is slowly being taken over by idiots…there is no more subtlety, it’s all IN YOUR FACE!”
6:20 AM – HOW SAY YOU? CONTINUES
Darius calls in to “put Ace on the spot” and asks him who he’s going to vote for? Adam and Darius argue over “who is carrying the burden in our society”. Darius feels it is the lower class who are being f’ed and Adam totally disagrees. Adam says when he was poor he “never thought about the government, not for a second, not one second!” Adam says “the government was just there to keep the peace, keep anarchy from breaking out in the streets”. He was too poor to think about anything other than making a damn buck.
Ultimately Darius wants to know who Adam is voting for? Adam says “I never vote, I’m not voting…I don’t care who gets in… this is one c-lister who says stay the hell home!”
6:43 AM – HOW SAY YOU? CONTINUES
Adam shares “an interesting story about Affirmative Action“: Over the weekend Adam ran into an old acquaintance, a black guy named Chip he knew back from his college days. Chip asked him if he was friends back in college with a guy named Jeff who Chip considered to be totally racist. Adam was friends with Jeff and explains why Jeff hated Chip and vice versa. Apparently Jeff was a white guy that totally wanted to become a firefighter and lost the opportunity and the job to Chip because of god damn Affirmative Action! Adam says, “the reason Jeff hated him do much is because he stood for everything that was in the way of his dreams”. Poor Jeff.
T. calls Affirmative Action “a broken, broken policy”.
7:05 AM- TERESA REPORTS THE NEWS
Teresa reports the news.
* Jennifer Hudson offers $100,000 reward for missing nephew.
* FBI to help find Jennifer Hudson’s nephew.
* McCain’s brother: ‘No excuse’ for calling 911 to complain about traffic.
7:28 AM – TERESA CONTINUES TO REPORT THE NEWS
Teresa continues to report the news.
* Isiah Thomas hospitalized for possible drug overdose.
7:48 AM – RICH EISEN PHONES IN
NFL Network’s Rich Eisen phones in to talk a little football this morning.
Adam asks Rich what the hell happened to the football player Roman Gabriel and why the hell doesn’t anyone have the name Roman anymore?
Rich talks about the fifth season of his show Total Access, the NFL’s show of record which provides daily news, interviews and analysis from around the league. Rich says he is happy to say the show is “constantly listed at the top of the rating charts”. Adam says he absolutely “cannot live without this show.”
The gang talk about the big game tonight between the Indiana Colts and the Tennessee Titans. Rich says he thinks the “undefeated Titans” win will the big game.
Check out Rich’s book Total Access: A Journey to the Center of the NFL Universe which is available for sale now.
8:16 AM – PEOPLE/THINGS THAT SOUND BETTER THAN THEY ARE
In this segment of ‘People/Things That Sound Better Than They Are,’ the gang rant about what they consider to be the most retarded euphemisms and names around: Casualties of War; Friendly Fire; Frostbite; Crematorium; Minnie Driver and Vin Diesel and Montezuma’s Revenge just to name a few.
8:36 AM – MAUREEN MCCORMICK PHONES IN
The Brady Bunch’s Maureen McCormick phones in to promote her new book, Here’s the Story:Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice which is available for sale now.
Adam says he grew up watching, AKA masturbating to Marsha on The Brady Bunch and literally “never missed a show!”
Maureen talks about her downward spiral after the Brady Bunch; she thought she had syphilis growing up as a child and was continually tortured by these thoughts. Maureen also says she has always battled with chronic depression as well as struggling with an addictive personality disorder. Read her book and learn how she survived it all peeps.
8:56 AM – RAY-ENACTMENTS
In this segment of ‘Ray-enactments,” Adam’s wild buddy Ray is in the studio to reenact funny Halloween stories from the past. Adam and Ray talk about the funny costumes they’ve worn over the years; Ray shaved his long hair to perfect his Hare Krishna costume which he says made his “mother cry.”
Listeners call in with their bizarre Halloween stories and the listener with the weirdest story will win free tickets to the Blotto in the Grotto Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion as well as 500 bucks courtesy of Zack and Miri Make A Porno.
9:20 AM -TERESA RECAPS THE NEWS; RAY HANGS OUT
Teresa recaps the news.
9:42 AM – KIRK MORRISON PHONES IN
Oakland Raider’s middle linebacker Kirk Morrison phones in. Adam says he’s “sorry for the loss” against the Baltimore Ravens yesterday. Kirk says, “it was so tough, they got us on a trick play, it was totally unexpected”. Adam says Kirk “totally killed his buzz.” Kirk says, “you can’t win them all”. Kirk says he doesn’t feel too bad because he was able to eat Maryland crab cakes which he calls, “the most delicious crab cakes I’ve ever had in my whole life!”
Don’t miss next weeks big game against the Atlanta Falcons.
9:56 AM – ADAM WRAPS THE SHOW
Mahalo! Order The Hammer on DVD now!
