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[We’re welcoming back Les Stroud, Best survival show EVER MADE!!! Take that, Bear Grylls.]

By Whitney Matheson, USA TODAY

Updated 9h 8m ago

Discovery Channel

From Man vs. Wild to Survivor, everyone has their favorite survival TV show.

Me? I’ve been a Survivorman devotee since the beginning.

The epic series, which ran from 2004-2008 on the Discovery Channel, followed the intrepid Les Stroud as he got dropped off in the wilderness and attempted to make it on his own for several days.

Several things made Survivorman unique, but the main element was that Les filmed everything himself. Nothing was fake about the show; this guy really could get swallowed by a bear in the middle of nowhere. Often Les would walk farther or investigate places he didn’t need to, just to get a good shot for the camera.

Of course, being a career survivalist takes a serious physical toll, so an exhausted Les had to give it up after three seasons. But next month he’s back on the Discovery Channel with a handful of new episodes.

In the eps, Les tries to survive on an uninhabited island in Mexico and in the Norwegian mountains for 10 days at a time. Once again, his bag contains 65 pounds of camera gear and his trusty harmonica — and little else.

In this scene from one of the Norway episodes, Les says trekking down a mountainside is “one of the most dangerous situations I’ve ever been in”:

And here’s a strange moment that’s pretty typical of Survivor: Apparently, Les has hurt his foot, so he turns to a “healing plant” and a soda bottle for some relief. (While muttering to himself, you can hear him say, “Yeah, I could use some more food.”)

Survivorman returns to the Discovery Channel Aug. 19 at 9 p.m. ET. Take note.


So… this week you actually get to decide the future of online privacy.  Seriously!

As you read this, the Senate is debating their version of CISPA: the “Cybersecurity Act of 2012”.  There will be debate and amendments, but a vote can come any day.

CISPA–which already passed the House–was awful.  Government got potential access to all your personal data with no restrictions on what they could do with it.    But the Senate bill has some strong privacy protections… for now. 

The problem is, a group of anti-privacy Senators and the NSA are pushing amendments to remove these protections and bring the Senate bill closer to CISPA.  Our friends in the Senate say that phone lines have been dangerously quiet: not enough constituents are calling in support of privacy.

The bill is in the final stages and could easily become law; we need to keep those privacy protections in it.  Al Franken and Rand Paul are also supporting a pro-privacy amendment that needs our support.

Can you call your Senators right now to defend privacy?

Your call could actually tip the scales.  Thanks to an unrelated battle (mostly along party lines) over whether or not government should regulate the systems securing basic infrastructure like power grids, the final vote could be very close.  If we can convince just a handful of Senators to stand up for our rights to privacy, we can significantly improve the bill or block it entirely.

This year, grassroots movements defeated SOPA in the US and ACTA in Europe.  Wouldn’t it be amazing if this latest bad-idea bill also went down in flames (or at least, got significantly improved)?   Well, you’ve gotta work a little bit to make it happen 🙂

Call both your Senators now:

 by Mobutu Sese Seko
Image by Jim Cooke.

When Adam Carolla sat down for an interview with the New York Post to promote his new book, it was probably supposed to be a no-brainer—at least in the easygoing, non-clusterfucky way. Carolla used to host a Comedy Central show about taps, tits and trampolines, and the Post pretty much targets the same demographic, with bonus exploding-Hajji content thrown in.

Both write comedy with punchlines that need to be supplemented with high fives. Both pass judgment on the world with the familiar, things-should-be-easier-for-me clarity of spiritually vapid, prosperous white people.

Then Carolla dropped the worn-out observation that “women aren’t funny,” a gimme quote so stupid that thrashing it should have been idiotproof. Instead, columnists framed the issue as “unfunny comedian says dumb thing,” as if his comic bona fides had some bearing on the fact that he’s a dickhead.

Reversal of fortune is fun; dismissing people who say “women aren’t funny” with a trouncing of their comic chops is a killer move. Drop the mic. Boom, headshot. Why we do this with comedy is a mystery, though. Nobody responded to the radio host who called Obama a monkey with, “What’s her Arbitron? Ahahaha I bet it’s real bad.”

Maybe people did this with Carolla because people like to assume they have a good sense of humor. “You are really bad,” they can say, “because I have what it takes to tell that.” Perhaps it’s forgivable self-praise. Either way, it’s immaterial to establishing that Carolla made a bozo misogynist statement, and the worst thing it does is reframe the discussion as a referendum on his career.

Salon‘s Mary Elizabeth Williams, or at least a copy editor, left no room for ambiguity with the headline, “Adam Carolla, unfunny comedian, thinks women aren’t funny.” The ensuing article confirms the idea. Both make a dog’s breakfast of the issue. The real story is, “Fuckhead Says Dumb Shit,” but Williams’ analysis couldn’t be better crafted to change the subject.

She praises Melissa McCarthy’s comedy talent for acting out a moment scripted by two other people (both women more deserving of a namedrop). Then she makes an argument on behalf of Roseanne Barr’s humor by citing her television show and its awards. Not only is a show’s humor dependent on other actors, producers and writers (in this case, over 40 of whom were men), but, short of using a laugh track, the Emmy awards are about the dumbest possible metric for comic worth.

Williams uses criteria involving movie scripts, ensemble TV shows (and their producers and writers’ rooms) and the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences to impeach the argument of a podcaster who used to mock people via puppets and talk to strangers about dick diseases. Not only does this compare apples to oranges, it might as well have been designed to obscure the fact that Carolla made a self-evident universally shit-for-brains remark. That’s the only referendum you need.

Meanwhile, Alyssa Rosenberg, who writes Think Progress‘ “Smell My Finger,” a pop-culture blog ostensibly targeted at agoraphobes and people on AOL, lost the thread at the end of a decent article, arguing:

And yet Adam Carolla, a comic so pathetic he thinks it’s clever to suggest nerds are undatable [sic]… is somehow, by virtue of these clear demonstrations of wit and the fact that he’s a dude with a frattish fanbase, free to behave like this.

Leaving aside the fact that Carolla hasn’t been “free” to behave like this and has been paying a price in internet commentary for days, usually the people who move goalposts are the ones losing the argument. But here, after a smart observation about double-standards applied to women writers—and women’s self-censorship about their peers in a rigged game—Rosenberg shifts to high dudgeon about nerd jokes (really?) and then engages in audience stereotyping based on a dislike for some topics of Carolla’s humor. While there’s plenty of frat humor that’s privileged, racist, sexist, xenophobic, and homo- and trans-phobic, a lot of it is just goofy and stupid. It has broad demographic appeal because it’s broad comedy, and doubtless a lot of Carolla fans are along only for that ride and not D-minus conservative talking points.

Gawker and Deadspin‘s Drew Magary has not only gotten tremendous mileage out of mocking dumb-bro machismo, he also gets paid to collate nightmare stories about pooping submitted by people from all social and economic strata. (The lucky bastard.) The fact that fart jokes can be so diversely crowdsourced undermines it as an industry excuse for boorishness or as a genre exclusively aimed at a prejudiced fanbase. It only proves that this shit works. Going by Mary Elizabeth Williams, it also works when Melissa McCarthy goes thunderbutt at a dress fitting.

There’s one last ugly distraction to the “Carolla isn’t funny” argument, one illustrated by one of the responses to Alexandra Petri’s Washington Post blog: “OK Alexandra. Now, hopefully, you can get back to being funny again, and possibly prove Adam Carolla that he’s wrong. This article didn’t do that.” When you let the discussion migrate from “this man is a social neanderthal” to “this man is not funny,” you open the floodgates to the most accessible low-effort troll: ahahaha, it’s ironic that the reason why you’re wrong is that you’re not funny. (I look forward to seeing it below.) If Carolla’s wrong because he’s not funny, then you can’t be right if you’re not funny, and anyone who points that out better be funny as well, or else we’re all trapped in the same revolving door and nattering at each other like doomed snark shades.

And, look, if a coherent response was doomed to be subsumed by changing criteria, faulty comparison and a subjective talent show, someone could have at least had fun with the thing and gone whole hog on the fallacies. You know, just start ripping Carolla, because he’s willing to do that to a whole gender, if it means he hits the Kindle bestseller list. That’s the wheelhouse of a dude whose career insights are tittybeerfootball (something that will be acknowledged when the Friar’s Club roasts the marketing department at Budweiser). Well, that and MANLINESS schtick, delivered by a caterpillar-browed lantern head made of paste laconically whining out one-liners like the peevish adenoid of a midwestern CPA who just had a narcotizingly heavy sesh down at the Country Buffet. Mocking appearance seems like overkill, but it’s a good thing Corolla’s got wiry hair that kinda looks like a plumber’s snake, because at least having his head up his ass can fix his being full of shit.

Thankfully, instead we got comics like Rob Delaney making sincere and impassioned defenses of women writers and writers’ rooms that offer a balance of voices. We got people on Twitter sticking up for women comics and writers and generally making a fun day of the whole affair.

With luck, maybe that will spill over into an acknowledgement that—despite the considerable way left to go—we’re living in a phenomenal time for women comedy writers. In the 1990s, nobody outside a writers’ room knew who Jennifer Crittenden was, even as she wrote episodes for the golden age of The Simpsons and Seinfeld. Today, Megan Ganz is a “household” name forCommunity fans online, while Tina Fey and Amy Poehler approach beatification. There are even enough women writers that we can start having headache-inducing discussions about whether women writers transgress against other women writers—whether Chelsea Handler and Whitney Cummings’ sexual frankness embodies an equalizing of the gender discourse or a cynical market appeal, whether Fey’s and “Liz Lemon’s” prudishness is a form of slut-shaming.

Hell, with a little more luck, we might stumble into a discussion about how women are funny, and women are also unfunny. Just like the millions and millions of men who are absolutely fucking unbearable—the huge, begged-question part of the male populace who are never mentioned in the presumptive “dudes are hilarious” conversation. When it comes to sense of humor, most men—most people—have “beer goggles” levels of misjudgment about their own. Anyone who’s worked in a large office, restaurant, retail store, etc., knows what it’s like to never escape the 80 percent of their co-workers who think they’re hilarious when only maybe 10 percent actually are. In America, almost no one thinks he’s the Zeppo.

The thing is, those positive trends and human acknowledgements don’t represent some bizarre arcana. To anyone observant, they’re pretty obvious. That’s what’s ultimately so damning about Carolla’s sexist condemnation. His job is observation, and his career is built on trading in the obvious. When you’re a master of the obvious, you don’t have an excuse for failing to grasp it.

Unless you’re just throwing 50 percent of the world under the bus to boost book sales. In which case you are fucking garbage.

“Mobutu Sese Seko” is founder of the blog Et tu, Mr. Destructo?

Neetzan Zimmerman

In an apparent bid to drum up some publicity for his new book, comedian Adam Carolla decided to court controversy by exhuming the hackneyed “women aren’t funny” canard in aNew York Post interview.

“The lesson you learned from a sexual harassment seminar was “Don’t hire chicks.” Do you hate working with women?” asks the Post‘s Larry Getlen, launching Carolla into a chauvinistic tirade about being forced to hire “a certain number of chicks” who are “always the least funny on the writing staff.”

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, ‘Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.’

Getlen goads Carolla further, asking him if he’s “not worried about reactions” to his remarks.

“I don’t care,” he grumbles. “When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds. When it comes to comedy, of course there’s Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey, Kathy Griffin – super-funny chicks. But if you’re playing the odds? No.”

Carolla then proceeds to pick a fight with specific female entertainers he doesn’t personally care for. “If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV,” he asserts. “They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was? Honestly.”

Award-winning writer Warren Ellis was one of the many who took exception to Carolla’s comments. On Twitter, Ellis responded by offering a few names of “women who are funny,” adding: “Because apparently some shithead needs us to start a list for him.”

Adam Carolla stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote his new book and the former “Man Show” hosts ran through some possibilities for title/cover combo. Upon the revealing of the actual book, Kimmel was not that impressed.

Adam Carolla visited Attack of the Show last week to discuss his podcast network, but, as usual, the conversation quickly shifted to women and food. Watch Alison Haislip interrupt the interview to passionately defend her bustly dimensions.

View the video here.